Holidays & Heartbreaks

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." I Peter 5:8


Before I dive into the issue that has been so tugging at my heart since hearing of a friend's separation, let me say Happy Thanksgiving! "Thanks, Chris!" You say, "But I have a feeling this is as good-feeling as it's gonna get!" Yep! Sorry!
But I felt that I must share what's on my heart. What do our children have to look forward to? Holidays with a new family twist? Choosing between Mom & Dad? What life is that for a child? They already have to grow up too fast as it is!
"I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says,"I hate the violent dismembering of the'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat. (Malachi 2:16, Message) Violence dismemebering... That is a graphic word picture!
God clearly feels strongly about this! Jesus said that it was because of the hardness of heart that Moses allowed for divorce. But except for maritial unfaithfulness, divorce is NEVER God's way of dealing with problems in your marriage.
I also believe that God hates divorce because it affects the generations to come. When God brought Adam & Eve together, one of the purposes was for godly offspring. How are we to raise our children in the fear & reverence of God Almighty if we ignore this strong command?If we say we love God , but hate each other, (especially our spouses), we are liars & the love of Father God is not in us! WOW!
Like Jonah, we run when we know God is telling us to stay when we don't feel like it! It's one thing if there is abuse or sexual unfaithfulness to leave. It's quite another to do so, simply because we no longer feel "in love".
When I found out I was pregnant with Asher, it wasn't exactly a good time for us! Jeremy was still in seminary & we both were working like crazy! Jeremy responded in anger & pushed me away emotionally for about 4 months! I finally got sick of being treated so disrespectfully & decided to leave him. I called home & then started pulling clothes out of my closet. Jeremy was at work. It was the perfect opportunity. I thought it would be ok. I thought surely God understood! But as I packed, the Holy Spirit spoke & said, "You can't leave him. Let Me deal with his heart. You stay put." I threw a fit at first, but then I obeyed. And the Lord did exactly what He said He would do! Jeremy came around & both of our worlds changed! Because I stayed, my boys have both parents in the home. Children NEED that!
Please, if you are reading this and it is within your power, stay! I'm not asking you to put your children in harm's way, of course. If that's the case, then, yes, go! But be opened to God. Remember, nothing is impossible with God with faith! My parents divorced. My father refused to quit doing drugs & my sister & I were very much at risk. My mother felt she had to protect us. In contrast, Jeremy's parents divorced. His dad walked out, never giving a reason. It has been a source of contention between his sons & himself for years!
One other thing: Don't EVER bad-mouth your ex (or soon-to-be ex) in your childrens' hearing! It demeans both you and your ex in their eyes!
Again, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And know that I am when I say that I'm praying for each one of you!